THE STARTER SHACK
Hello Golfers,
We're dancing. We're making septuple bogeys—I mean who isn't? And British Columbia is being christened with two epic tracks. If we threw in a mullet and a tie-died hoodie how could you possibly beat this Tuesday morning newsletter? Note...we threw in a mullet and a tie-died hoodie.
Your PGA Pros Coming To A Tik-Tok Dance Near You
You gotta play well to get paid, period. Or do you?
Players regularly shooting lower scores tend to get paid more. Those that don’t quickly find themselves less employable than Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico.
Enter the PGA Tour’s Player Impact Program:
- compensates Tour players judged to best drive fan and sponsor engagement
- $40M annual pool, dispersed to 10 players (top earner receiving $8M)
- metrics: internet popularity, and other Kardashian-like ratings that nobody understands
The rich will indeed get richer, whether they play well or not (or, in some cases, play at all, (cough, cough), Tiger Woods).
A calculated move keeping the PGA Tour on the offensive and offsetting a potential loss of the main reason most viewers tune in (hint: it isn’t watching Brian Harman chewing tobacco in his MegaCorp cap):
- the Tour needs its best assets to be focused mainly on the PGA Tour
- offshoot, splinter tours (e.g. Premier Golf League) are always a threat to lure top players
- the promise of guaranteed pay, independent of how well players shoot, always helps
Greg Norman tried to start something akin to this, the World Golf Tour, back in 1994.
He was rebuffed by Tim Finchem, who then “borrowed” the idea and magically invented what we know today as the WGC golf events:
- no weekend cut, guaranteed payday just for teeing up
- large World Golf Ranking points, ensuring players remain exempt for other big events
- limits marketable Tour player turnover, stifles playing status of lower ranked players
- keeps the cream of the crop well compensated and maintains a high quality status quo
Does this all sound familiar? Seems like Norman doesn’t just lose on the golf course.
The days of top players pushing the narrative of being an “independent contractor”, assuming all financial perils of travel, playing events, etc. with zero guarantee of a payday, seem gone.
As long as players can maintain the ability to qualify for the major events, there appears to be little motivation to play potentially for free rather than chase a guaranteed paycheque of sorts. And that just seems right in today’s athlete-driven sports world.
This seems to be another case of the PGA Tour being reactive rather than proactive, as usual.
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- Nobody wants to play with Bubba: Seriously. His playing partner, Scottie Scheffler said as much...in front of Bubba. Interestingly enough, Bubba didn't cry.
- Hoodies on the LPGA: Michelle Wie West is working with the LPGA to bring more awareness to women's golf in the form of a tie-died hoodie. Take our money. Wait, this is a free newsletter, we don't have any.
- Embrace the Mullet: Cameron Smith let his playing partner, Mark Leishman, tend to his mullet. Click on this just for the pure enjoyment of seeing the epicness of his massive muffy mullet.
- Brooke is a 10: Brooke Henderson captured her 10th career win at the age of 23. 23! My life is a complete failure.
- Get a grip: Sorry you can't actually, there's a grip shortage. So what do we do about our '93 full cord tour velvets?
- Hanks Haney is still buzzing around: Haney is suing the PGA Tour after his XM show was canceled because of his racist and sexist comments. The PGA Tour's response..."Hank who?" (Not their actual response)
These Guys Are Good, This Guy Is A Horse's Ass
How good are PGA Tour players compared to their low-grade (or even high-grade) amateur brethren?
Fact #1: they would demolish your regular course. Folks also discuss Tour layouts and what the average “insert handicap” golfer would shoot (see Fact #2 below).
Fact #2: these courses would be more difficult than going to a nude beach with your in-laws and those vanity handicaps from the Sandy Crevice Golf & Country Club simply wouldn’t hold up.
Realities aside, who wouldn’t sign up for a tour event, or a Monday qualifier? The requirements:
- cost of the entry fee and a verified handicap of two (or lower) for amateurs
- cost of the entry fee if you’re a professional
- either way, dress the part, pack your golf bag and do your best to show you belong
Enter Connor Murphy, exclaiming “Hold my warm, backwashed PBR”:
- entered the recent Korn Ferry Tour’s qualifier in Texas as a professional
- dressed in an outfit resembling something the Easter Bunny vomited up
- golfed barefoot (clearly not offered a Sqairz shoes endorsement like Faldo)
- hauled his clubs and gear in a Costco wagon, like a paperboy who forgot his route
- promptly shot 108 (+36), finishing DFL by a smooth 16 shots
From Happy Gilmore tee shots to one-handed chips, Murphy had a rarified septuple bogey bookend to his round, along with a mixed bag wagon of scores throughout his day.
Hey Murph, can you tell us WITB?
Through no lack of trying on our end, Murphy has not responded to an interview request to ascertain what the motivation was for this stunt. We were really hoping to get the full details here, including the always popular “What’s in the bag, err, wagon?” segment that golf gearheads drool over.
This certainly reeks of another stunt from Maurice Flitcroft in the 1970s who got into the Open with the same “Yeah, I’m a professional” routine as Murphy.
The rules for tournament entry have since changed on most major tours, but perhaps the gates need to be re-tightened for other events, such as these development-tour qualifiers.
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Epic Golf Set For British Columbia
Epic. Grand. Monumental. Expansive. Bucket List. Humbling. Just some of the descriptors for the golf courses set to open in British Columbia in the near future. Humbling is what they’ll do to our golfing egos.
There are two courses set to open in British Columbia:
- Sagebrush Golf & Sporting Club - July 1, 2021
- Cabot Pacific Golf Course - 2023
Interestingly enough, both courses have been touched by the hand of Rod...Whitman. You thought I was going to say god, didn’t you?
Sagebrush originally opened to critical acclaim in 2009 on Nicola Lake in Quilchena, BC. Its sprawling 389-acre layout was a collaboration between Rod Whitman, Richard Zokol, and Armen Suny. It fell into financial troubles in 2014. Was due to reopen in 2016 under Troon Golf. It never did. Cue the trumpets...until now.
In 2017, Sagebrush was ranked #23 in Canada, even though it had been closed for 3 years.
Down the road, across the lake, through the valley, and over the mountain range, you’ll come to the first tee at Cabot Pacific in Revelstoke. Brought to you by the gentlemen who brought you Cabot Links (Mike Keiser of Bandon Dunes fame, and Ben Cowan-Dewar of Cabot Links fame).
Interestingly enough (I feel like I’ve typed something similar already) Rod Whitman also designed Cabot Links. I feel a theme snowballing here.
The design firm Whitman, Axland and Cutten have been hired to design and construct Cabot Pacific set atop some exquisite topography.
“There are some natural features that are pretty spectacular, seven and eight are set against that dramatic gorge. When I first saw it, I thought . . . well, you never want to mention names, but it reminded me of Cypress Point. But instead (of the ocean) it’s in the mountains.”
— Rod Whitman (Golf Digest)
This isn’t the last you’ll read about these two courses.
As Sagebrush nears its opening we’ll be providing a deep dive into its history, its infamy, what the short-term/long-term plans are. And, yes, we’ll begrudgingly sacrifice a weekend to play it so we can report back...photos of the scorecard and all. Such a demanding bunch.
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Septuple bogey - 7 over par
Me - Put me down for a septuple bogey.
REALLY good friend - I don't know what that is so I'll just put you down for a double with an asterisk.
THE BUSHWOOD EXPERIENCE
Peeing Dom
We had a guy at our club, let's call him, Rhymes with Dom. Dom got a little tipsy one evening after Men's League. At one point he needed to relieve himself but instead of making the 75 foot journey across the clubhouse he decided to sneak out the back door and go around the corner.
He wasn't gone for more than a minute or two when we heard some yelping followed by hysterical laughing from an adjacent room full of women participating in a wine tasting event.
Dom apparently walked around the corner and unzipped right in front of the picture window. Needless to say, Dom didn't come back that evening. His vehicle was in the parking lot when we left but he was not to be seen.
And he never spoke about the subject. Ever.
We’d love to hear your most outrageous "BUSHWOOD" story…all completely anonymous (we don’t even need your email): follow this link
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