Let us guess—you jumped head first into the long weekend (and by long weekend, we mean a case of beer or two) and you’re already feeling a little crusty today. Pace yourself, you haven’t even made it to the snack shack on the front nine. Grab a coffee and drink up our newsletter. It won’t help your hangover but it won’t not help it.
😂 BREAKING NEWS: Nelly Korda is not mentioned in this newsletter…except just now.
🎰 Saying Phil likes to gamble is like saying John Daly likes to smoke
🎣 Brooks Koepka should take up fishing because he is a pro at trolling
🪓 Brysons caddie got the old heave-ho!
⛳️ Golf course increases rates 66% to $1,000 per round!
"There is no gambling at Bushwood sir…and I never slice"
Mickelson was channeling his inner Al Czervik when confronting a mob-linked bookie 20 years ago as he was getting screwed out of a $500K payout.
“Hey Tim...Tina...help this mob guy find his wallet!”... just doesn’t have the same gravitas as asking Moose and Rocco to help locate Judge Smails’ check book.
Instead of a hero’s welcome and a fluff piece in the local paper, The Detroit News instead choose to broadcast the previously unreported allegation against Phil:
- in 2007, Don DeSeranno was cross-examined in a Detroit-area mob case
- court transcripts noted “Dandy Don” handled large bets from Mickelson
- Mickelson won a large wager $500K, but was stiffed on the payout
- the bet’s nature wasn’t disclosed, Phil was never under any investigation
In the understatement of 2021, this article called Phil is an “avid gambler”. That’s kinda like suggesting John Daly’s an “avid consumer” of cigarettes and diet Coke.
A few of Phil’s other “avid gambler” stories include:
- $20K on the Ravens winning Super Bowl XXXV (28:1 odds); won $560K
- $20K on the D’backs winning 2001 World Series (38:1 odds); won $760K
- During filming on Tin Cup, won a bet with crew after hitting impossible trick shot
- Too numerous to count in-round and practice round wagers with fellow players
Not all of Phil’s gambling is parlayed into winning as evidence by his sizeable and publicly known gambling debts
- owed notorious Las Vegas bettor William “Billy” Walters $1.9M
- ensnared in insider trading case with Walters (presumably for debt repayment)
Suffice to say that with career winnings ($100M) and off-course earnings ($900M), Phil won’t need to re-mortgage his home to cover the vig on his next big bet.
- Bryson and Tim are Splitsville: wonder if it had anything to do with Mickelson bending Bryson’s 8 iron. Or maybe Tim couldn’t calculate how air quality, heat index, grass stickiness in 89% humidity affects an 8 iron in a 3 MPH wind coming from 76° SSW in his head in less than 30 seconds. Bye Tim!
- Pack your bags baby: Ireland has 10 hidden gems according to this list. We're pretty sure there are a couple other courses over there if you're planning something epic. Plus they have beer. Plus they have whiskey. Plus they have cute little pubs to enjoy both of those in. What were we talking about?
- Charles Schwartzel is a baller: feeling bad about your life choices and think you could've done better...don't look at the house Charles Schwartzel just sold.
- ANYONE HERE FROM MICHIGAN: who wants two attend the Ryder Cup? You can easily do that by volunteering. No, they're not looking for beer vacuums—we asked—you actually have to do work. We're out.
- $1,000 for one round!: and you still have to pay for your room at the MGM. Shadow Creek increases it's rates from $600 to $1,000 during peak times. And we thought Celine Dion could make us cry.
- Best Social Instruction: no, not instruction on your social skills. Although depending on how you carry yourself over the weekend you may need to look into that as well. These are the best social accounts to follow for golf instruction.
- How early is too early: Pro lashes out at PGA Tour on twitter (he dropped the dreaded F-Bomb) because of one to four too many early tee times. You know what's funny? The PGA Tour actually listened. We're going to try that with our boss.
PIC OF THE DAY
Could you imagine having to deal with anything, let alone foreign leaders after a miserable round of golf.
“Listen Poo-tin, I just finished bogey, bogey, bogey, double (with a mulligan) that included one shank and two three-putts. I don’t have the time or the patience for your tough-guy BS. Go ride a horse shirtless somewhere else so I can sort out why I’m coming over-the-top.”
INSIDE THE ROPES
Just give Brooks the entire $40 million PIP. He's proven he knows how to work a Twitter feed with the ultimate troll of Bryson's recent breakup with his caddie, Tim Tucker. His performance lately, off the course, has been "better than most".
Devereux is here for your July 4th needs.
Note: if you wet this towel and place it in the freezer for 5 minutes and then place it on your forehead for 5 minutes you'll have a cool head. You'll still have a hangover but you'll have a cool head.
*not a sponsored post
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