5 min read


How are you handling the fact that there is no golf on TV this week? We missed the, sometimes, moronic statements so much, we started commentating our Men's League on Tuesdays. Subsequently, we've been suspended from the club for two weeks.

🏆 Best Rookie Season Ever

🧐 Brooks is breaking Tigers Major record

📆 Monday Qualifying ain't easy!

⛳️ Michael Jordan's toxic clubs (literally)


THE Rookie of Any Year...EVER!

It’s awards season on the PGA Tour. Just don’t expect to tune in for a balck tie event on the Golf Channel to see the winners. The candidates were announced, literally via press release, with all the pomp and circumstance of hearing your order being called over the speaker at the local In ‘N’ Out.

Kudos PGA Tour for rolling out a veritable stained Astroturf carpet for this event.

The crown jewels went to Patrick Cantley for Player of the Year, whereas the Rookie of the year went to Will Zalatorisover fellow greenhorn Garrick Higgo.

Zalatoris had a phenomenal season, considering he wasn’t a full member that could earn FedEx Cup points throughout the season:

  • No victories, 21/25 cuts made, 8 top-10s, including runner-up finish at The Masters
  • Finished season 29th in World Ranking, 26th in FedEx Cup Points
  • Playing as a Special Temporary Member, though, wasn’t eligible for the playoffs
  • Earned full status for the 2021-22 season, without playing in the playoffs. Incredible

You know what’s even more incredible? Perhaps THE greatest rookie season ever in professional golf. Ladies, gentlemen and folks that can be classified as neither, we present to you the accomplishments of Hall of Famer Nancy Lopez in 1978:

  • Won her first tournament In February at the Bent Tree Classic in Sarasota, Florida.
  • Starting In April, she won five straight tournaments, including the LPGA Championship
  • Followed this streak with 7 more top 10s, more wins, totalling 9 wins on the year
  • Also had two sudden death playoff losses in the season
  • Still only player to win ROY, POY and Vare Trophy honors in the same season

Lopez earnings for all this hardware? A record setting at the time $200K. Zalatoris’ winnings on the year for not winning anything? $3.935 million!.

Congrats to Zalatoris for one hell of a season played with no actual status (and winning stacks of cash to boot).

However, let’s sit back and marvel at Nancy Lopez’s rookie year; that lone season would have been an outstanding career for just about any other player. You Go Girl!


  • It's ALL about Koepka: Brooksy sits down with Golf Digest and spills on everything from equipment, shotmaking, his relationships, to throwing clubs in college. The only thing we threw in college was a frisbee...no, wait, no, that's right, we didn't go to college. One time Koepka gave a driver to a kid during a tournament, after his coach found out he sought out the kid and snatched it back.
  • Lawyer argues he could beat Tiger: A Kentucky lawyer used a Tiger and Rory analogy to explain to the jury what was possible and what was reasonable. He stated it's possible but not reasonable to beat Tiger and Rory. We wish we used this anology to our spouse after returning from Men's League..."it's possible we drank 18 PBR over 18 holes, but let's be honest, it's not reasonable".
  • Brooks believes!: he's going to beat Tiger's major record of 15 (so far). Um, Brooks may we point you to the exhibit above...there is possible and then there is reasonable.
  • 1991 Ryder Cup Mystery: to this day there are still no answers as to how Hale Irwin's ball, with a power fade and a power fade wind that was headed for the ocean, somehow ended up in the fairway...? Did a spectator toss it? Did it smack a Euro in the head? Mark Rolfing is still trying to figure it out. Did anyone check for holes in Hale's pockets? That's the obvious place to look first.
  • Monday, Monday: ever wonder what it's like to Monday Qualify for a PGA Tour event? Us neither...we work Monday's like normal people. But if we did try and qualify our stories would be like the trials and tribulations ofthese folks.
  • New Wedges: Tour Edge is releasing new wedges called Vibrcor. Our mind may always be in the gutter because we think they're trying to outdo TaylorMades...Micro-rib Wedge. Did TaylorMade and Tour Edge hire the marketing manager from Trojan?


We don't know who this lady is but her game face is intimidation level 11.

We're three down and we haven't even teed off yet. Which is fine but she won't tell us where she got her cardigan and now it's getting a little awkward.


Custom made Ping Eye2 BeCU (Beryllium Copper) for Michael Jordon. We thought these clubs were pretty cool but then we found out you can't lick them...the BeCU line of clubs were banned because they were found to be toxic.

We've been told the mushrooms behind the 5th green are also toxic but it hasn't stopped us from making a few "practice swings" back there and then carrying our wedge around like it's a lollipop.


"What has one thumb and shoots low scores...THIS GUY!!!"

We have thumbs and that's about all we have in common with Josh.


William Murray Golf:

We like our golf shirts like our cart horns...loud! No, sorry, soft. We like our golf shirts to be soft...and stylish. William Murray Golf does both. They've also mastered what Mickelson couldn't...how to wear a button-down shirt on the golf course.

*not a sponsored post


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Today's email was brought to you by: Nolan Filipenko & Colby Johannson