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WARNING: Hole Outs Lead to Dislocated Ankles

WARNING: Hole Outs Lead to Dislocated Ankles

In our weekly effort to bring you the finest in obscure golf news and what we consider analysis, we came across a very crazy observation.

In the 2021 PGA Tour season, through last week’s event, Tony Finau had played 85 competitive rounds and has holed out an astounding 22 times. So, on average, in every event he has played, he holes out at least once (basically when not on the green or the fringe according to the stats gurus).

We are stoked if we hole out once a decade. Hell, it's cause for a round of boilermakers when we lip in a three-footer for a round saving double bogey.

What’s crazy is Tony is not even the overall leader in this category, but he is the most proficient on a per hole played basis. Before you ask, there is no El Dorado for guessing who’s in first, nor a set of steak knives for deducing the silver medallist.

We suppose there should be no surprise that Finau isn’t tops on this list (he’s third), as he has a well documented history of finishing achingly close to first, but coming up just short in most of his events.

Tony Finau (aka The Bridesmaid)

  • Turned pro in 2007, joined PGA Tour in 2105
  • contestant on Golf Channel’s Big Break Disney in 2009 with his brother, Gipper
  • 46 top-10s, 146 made cuts in 188 events, 1 win in 7 years on the PGA Tour
  • Made PGA playoffs every year (made Tour Championship last four years)
  • Member of Ryder Cup (‘18), Presidents Cup (‘19), likely Ryder Cup in 2021
  • $23.5M in career earnings (XXX place all-time)

We are sensing a bit of a Chucky Three Sticks vibe here. Consistency. Flashes of brilliance. All around nice guy.

Even if this nice guy has “fire knife dancing” as a hobby (what’s wrong with fly fishing or playing Canasta?).

Listen folks, if all we need to do is win silver or bronze once in a while, stay away from the top of the podium for the most part and still cash in $23.8M over a seven-year career ($3.4M/year!), well, just slap our faces and call us Milton Pouha Finau (aka Tony). That sounds like a hell of a good time except the part about dislocating your ankle celebrating a hole-in-one at Augusta on national television.

Let’s just say that in a weird year on the PGA Tour where there have 41 different winners and nobody has won more than two events, we are rooting for Milton to break through for his second career win.